


Looking Beyond the 'Truth'

by Please No Portraits (GothAlbinoAngel)



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss, six the musical
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Beheaded Cousins, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Profanity, Protect K Howard, Self-Harm, Victim Blaming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:00:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22593691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothAlbinoAngel/pseuds/Please%20No%20Portraits
Summary: After Kit regains the memories of her past life, everyone finds out ‘the Truth’ about Katherine’s execution. The information is… not well-received.
Relationships: Anna of Cleves & Katherine Howard
Comments: 29
Kudos: 243





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon asked for Beheaded Cousins angst. I decided it was a perfect opportunity to start fleshing out some of the Reincarnated!Verse. 
> 
> Nicknames: Kit - Howard, Cathy - Parr, Lina - Aragon

Kit rubbed her eye as she made her way into the kitchen. She glanced around at the others and gave them a sleepy wave. It had been a day or two since Kit had regained her present memories and control of her mind. Katherine’s-her-past life was still there, but it was easier to distinguish between her new life and her old life now. Almost everyone else was in the kitchen already, Cathy sleeping in for once.

“Morning, love,” Jane chirped, reaching over to pull Kit into a quick hug before returning her attention to little Edward.

“How’s your brain?” Anna asked, giving Kit a longer hug.

Kit shrugged and stepped over to the stove. “It’s okay. I still have… moments. I think going out is gonna be a little difficult, but she- I should be fine for the most part.”

“Are you up for talking about your time as queen?” Lina hesitantly piped in. “It’s alright if you aren’t, but we want to be here to help you through any misplaced feelings or after effects of regaining your memories.”

Though she tried to keep a calm face, the other queens noticed Kit’s shoulders tense. “Um…” Kit’s mind flicked back and forth between past life and present life. “How much does history _say_ about he- about me?”

Anne scoffed and stood. As she made her way over to Kit, footsteps could be heard in the hall. Cathy shuffled into the kitchen with a yawn and a wave, dropping into her usual seat to rest before getting food. All focus was on Kit, though.

“No need to be nervous, Kitkat,” Anne told her gently. “I mean, look at me! History painted me as some kinda seductress. Some people tried spinning me as a _witch_. Whatever history says, it’s hella overrated.”

Kit turned to her, facing the kitchen at large. “But what does history _say_ happened?” Her voice was tight. She didn’t like this. She knew what her memories told her happened, but she needed to know where they stood. She needed to know how much damage had already been done.

It was Cathy who spoke up then. More awake now that the current conversation was registering, she said, “From what I recall, you were accused of sleeping with men before your marriage to Henry, as well as an affair during your time as queen.” She remembered the investigation all too well. The rumors that had spread. At first, Cathy couldn’t believe them. She’d met Queen Katherine a few times; the girl had been a sweetheart. But when the testimonies came out, and the men were beheaded, Cathy’s resolve to believe Katherine had… diminished. 

“Oh please,” Anne snorted. “He tried to do the same thing on me, remember? Ooh, she’s having affairs, so we gotta kill’er. What a crock load’a-.”

“It was true.”

That stopped everything in its tracks. All eyes swiveled to Kit in shock and Anna carefully stood from her seat. Anne turned to face her little cousin and tilted her head. “What was true, Kitkat?”

“The reasoning behind my execution. Henry was outraged I hadn’t told him I’d been with two men before him. And I was… and I was with someone while married to him. The reasoning was true.”

Heavy silence filled the kitchen as the information sank in. Anna, of course, already knew this, having been the one Katherine confided in about it. The others, though, were staring at Kit with no small amount of shock. 

Almost instantly, Lina’s face hardened and her eyes narrowed over at the young woman. “You… you _had an affair?”_

Kit’s arms wrapped around her stomach and she turned her gaze upward and away from them. “I don’t see what the big deal is. Henry did it all the time.” It came out much stronger than she expected. Good thing, too. They might take her inner shaking as weakness. 

“He was the _king_ ,” Jane pointed out, her expression shifting from shock toward disgust. “No one could tell him no!”

“You had an image to uphold as queen,” Lina hissed. “At least your cousin had the common decency not to outright have _intercourse_.”

Kit’s eyes flicked to her before she turned her head to look at Anne. Anne was still watching her. Her face still looked shocked, so maybe that was a good sign. “Annie?” Kit tried carefully. 

“Tell me you’re lying,” Anne told her. A small line appeared between her eyes as she stared at Kit disbelievingly. “ _Tell me_ you’re lying.”

Kit remained silent and Anne’s eyes narrowed. No. No fucking way. No fucking _way_ her little cousin would… Not little Kitkat… But she wasn’t Kitkat back then. She wasn’t Anne’s little cousin. They’d never even met. No, that was _Katherine_. 

“I can’t believe this.” 

Kit stared up at Anne. Anne would let Kit tell the whole story, wouldn’t she? The ghost of scars on her arms reminded Kit that Anne had promised to listen to her when something was wrong. Anne had always been there for her. 

“Annie, it’s not what-.” As Kit reached out to put a hand on Anne’s arm, Anne slid backward, out of range. “Annie…”

“I…” Anne couldn’t deal with this. She couldn’t handle this right now. “Don’t touch me. I can’t even look at you. I need to just…” She took a deep breath and brushed passed Kit. “Just leave me alone.”

Edward whimpered at all of the tension in the air and Jane switched her attention back to him. She cooed to him gently, lifting him from his carseat and heading for the door. One last look of disgust was thrown to Kit before she disappeared. 

Cathy and Lina’s glares drilled into Kit’s skull, judging her for what she’d done. Kit bit her lip and turned to face the stove for a moment. None of them knew the truth, the whole truth. The scar at her neck burned, a cruel reminder that this was the second time everyone had brushed aside her feelings for what they perceived as true. No one bothered looking deeper. 

A hand on her shoulder made Kit look up. Anna watched her carefully. “Why don’t we take a walk, alright?” she asked softly. “I think everyone could use some air and time to process.”

Kit nodded and trailed her from the kitchen. The glares of the rest of the household followed them all the way until the front door shut. They walked for a while, thinking over everything that had happened. 

Anna couldn’t believe the others would jump to conclusions like that so quickly. Kit had been a child, younger than she was right now. What gave them the right to judge her like this? Especially without hearing the full story?

Kit, on the other hand, was lost in numbness. Her cousin hated her. The cousin that took her in, soothed her, cared about her when no one else did, had abandoned her. All it took was some stupid memories. One minute, and everything between them just… shattered. 

_“Little fool,”_ a voice that sounded far too much like Thomas taunted her. _“You really thought someone in your family cared about you? Your mother left you, your father abandoned you, your grandmother sent you away, and your cousin took advantage of you. They never cared, so why would she?”_

That same itch from six years ago pulsed faintly in Kit’s hands, but she repressed it. Anne just needed time to cool down. She’d hear Kit out when the shock wore off or something. Thomas wasn’t right. Even if the rest of her family had abandoned her (in this life and the past), Anne had promised to be there and believe her. Anne would be there.

Anna stopped them at a street vendor and ordered two hot dogs, both for Kit. “Ya gotta eat,” she said. “You missed breakfast, so this is the next best thing.” Kit made no argument and nibbled at her hot dogs as they started off back for the house. 

Anne huffed as she paced the living room. Her fists clenched and unclenched and her body shook a little. She wanted to scream and rage, but she couldn’t do that right now. Jane watched her, rocking Edward to sleep now that he’d finished eating.

Lina gave a heavy sigh as she made her way in and sat next to Jane. She rubbed little Eddie’s cheek before looking up at Anne. “So, am I correct in assuming the entire Howard family is full of miscreants?”

Anne’s jaw clenched, but she didn’t say anything. That was troubling. While she was less prone to outbursts after regaining her memories, she still could have a temper. For her to say nothing in retort meant this was getting to her more than expected. 

Cathy crept in and settled near her godmother, watching Anne carefully. “It probably is a big shock,” she muttered with no small bit of venom. “Having your view of someone shattered so completely.”

Anne whirled on her furiously. “You knew!” she spat. “You were alive when it happened! You and Anna! And _neither of you_ said a thing!”

“Would you prefer one of us tell you?” Cathy snapped. Jane glanced up at the sound of the front door opening. She and Lina glanced over as two shadows made their way along the wall. “Would you rather have one of your friends tell you or hear it directly from her?”

“You could have mentioned something!” Anne exclaimed, infuriated. “You could have told me not to get my hopes up or that maybe our situations were different, but instead you two just _sat_ on the information!”

“It was her story to tell!” Cathy told her in exasperation. “It’s none of my business to begin with past being the reason the toad needed a new wife!”

“ _MY COUSIN IS A WHORE!”_ Anne roared. “You didn’t think it might be _pertinent information_ for me to know she’d tarnished the family name for _all of history?!”_

Everything stilled for a moment. Edward’s soft cries filtered from where he’d been woken up. Footsteps sounded out in the hall and all eyes switched to the living room entrance. A blur of pink strode passed the door without even stopping. They all heard Kit ascend the stairs before her door quietly shut upstairs. Anna appeared in the doorway a moment later. Her eyes surveyed the room almost coldly. 

“Because being known as a seductress, homewrecker, and cheating vixen is so much better.”

It was the only thing she said before disappearing up the stairs. Anne slumped down on an armchair, burying her face in her hands. This was so fucking stupid. How… _Why_ … This was such a mess.

In her room, Kit felt the itch so much stronger than out on the street. She wiped at her eyes angrily. _Whore. Vixen. Disgrace._ Her jaw clenched as she ripped her t-shirt over her head. Her eyes zeroed in on her dresser. The switchblade she’d gotten from Anna for her birthday glinted brighter in the light from her window. Kit swiped it up and knelt over her discarded shirt. 

Just as she positioned the knife over her skin, a thought struck her. A memory.

_A hand, larger than her own but gentler than any of the ones that had touched her before, grasped loosely around her injured wrist. Kit looked up into her cousin’s worried eyes. “If you **ever** feel like doing this again, Kitkat, come to me instead. I promise I’ll **always** listen to you. You don’t deserve to go through this alone, babe. Let me be here for you.” _

Some promise.

Kit was very precise as she cut into her arm. Years of not doing this hadn’t made her rusty, at least. Blood dripped to the shirt, but she didn’t care. As she watched the red leak over her skin, she felt a little bit of the pain in her chest ease. Just like back then, watching the wound start to clot provided a little bit of relief from her internal pain. 

It was better when she hurt. Hurting physically meant she wouldn’t have the energy to hurt emotionally. If her arms were hurting her, Anne’s words couldn’t. And when they did…

She pierced the skin again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The house is split and Kit isn’t taking the rejection very well.

Dinner that night was tense. Kit didn’t come down to eat, which only seemed to heighten Anna’s ire at the rest of the household. While neither Lina nor Jane understood how Anna couldn’t see the gravity of what Kit had done, neither were stupid enough to voice their thoughts on their newest housemate in front of the volatile woman. Even worse, Anne had gone out for a walk instead of eating with them all. It was clear the shame of knowing what Katherine had done was warring with her love for Kit. Cathy simply remained silent and observant as always. 

The night dragged on in tense silence. Even little Edward seemed to sense the air around him, wanting to be held for a majority of the night. Usually, Anna would try to dissolve any tension because she didn’t like the poor little guy being upset, but not this time. Edward would be fine. He had his mother and he had Lina. Kit had no one, so Anna would be there for her. 

Being there for her proved harder than expected, though. Ever since that morning, Kit had remained in her room, skipping both lunch and dinner in favor of isolation. Unfortunately, Anne and Cathy were the only ones in the house who knew how to pick a lock. Anna had no need for the skill because if she needed to get in somewhere, it was probably a ‘kick in the door’ kind of situation. With Kit having locked her door, though, Anna could only sit outside the room and listen to the soft music playing on the other side of the wood. 

Anne stormed through the city streets, fists tucked into her jacket and not really paying attention to where she was going. She hated this. Before today, Anne had been ecstatic that she got to share something else with her beloved cousin. She and Kit had been connected at the hip even before Anne got custody of her. They shared everything. Even their shitty past lives. Kit had always been such a bright light in Anne’s life, comforting her when no one else was there to cry to. Kit never thought less of her for it, either.

But Kit wasn’t Katherine. Anne’s eyes narrowed just thinking the name. Kit was sunlight, warmth, intelligence, fun. Sure, they’d had some hiccups when Anne started parenting her, but Kit was everything right with the world. Katherine… Katherine had soiled them for all of history. Shallow breaths forced themselves through Anne’s clenched teeth, making her chest feel constricted. An adulterous whore. Beheaded for an affair. How disgusting. The least she could’ve done was get beheaded or divorced for the same reasons as Anne, Lina, or Anna. Instead, she… 

_She brought her death on herself,_ Anne grumbled. 

_But is that any reason to shun Kit?_ another voice demanded disapprovingly. 

And now she was right back to her fucking conundrum. Kit was good. Katherine was bad. But now, Kit and Katherine were one and the same. Katherine’s death had resulted in Kit. Katherine was bad, but Kit was good. 

A vein pulsed heavily in Anne’s temple and she gritted her teeth tighter. This was so fucking _stupid!_ Yeah, Henry was a disgusting beast, but Katherine could’ve fuckin’ kept her skirt on! Anne lashed out at the nearest building, slamming the side of her fist into the rough brick without even blinking. 

She needed… She just needed some space, some time. Kit would always be her favorite cousin. Some dumbass from the past would never stop that. No matter what Katherine had done, Kit was more important, had always been more important. Anne would just… take a few days to calm down and then try to talk things out with her cousin. They’d… They would get through this just the same as they’d always done. Together. 

Kit stared at her ceiling. The glowing stars twinkled back at her, taunting her. It had been Anne’s idea to pick them out when she’d regained her memories. Katherine had been so afraid of her nightmares that Anne thought the stars might help. And, from what she could recall, they had. _A great start to you becoming part of the bigger family,_ Anne had said. She probably regretted saying that now. 

Kit’s fists clenched and she fought back tears welling in her eyes. The stars blurred and Kit gritted her teeth, shooting up. This was unfair! This was _so_ unfair! One minute and they all had turned on her. Anna was still with her, but…

Lina and Jane were the parents of the house, the oldest and most responsible. They kept everyone on track. Lina always asked Kit how her studies were going or if she needed any help with anything. She taught Kit Spanish and helped her with history. Kit couldn’t even count the number of times she’d woken up and found Lina and Anne talking in the kitchen, a cup of tea already made for her. Jane let her babysit Edward, even tried paying her for it! Kit just spent the money on stuff for little Eddie. Before he was born, Kit had been named his godmother. Jane would probably revoke that now. 

Cathy was her best friend, besides Anne and Anna. They would talk books, writing, analyze movie plots and TV shows together. They always loved finding something new that wasn’t complete garbage. Before Kit started college, Cathy even took her on some museum trips so Kit could learn more than just what history class told her. Cathy corrected some of the information and was content to let Kit stay in an exhibit for as long as she wanted. In quiet moments, Cathy was there to just _sit_ with, something that was hard to find in Anne and Anna. Cathy probably didn’t want to be anywhere near her now.

But none of that hurt as badly as Anne.

_“MY COUSIN IS A WHORE!”_

Kit’s chest constricted as the words rang through her head for the umpteenth time that day. Tears dripped through her fingers as she held back a sob. That’s it? That’s all Anne saw her as now? Mannox taking advantage of her, Francis grooming her, Henry grooming her, Thomas’ betrayal, and Kit was the one at fault. At fault back then, at fault now.

 _“I told you, sweet little fool,”_ Thomas sneered. _“Your family doesn’t love you. Even those who might will abandon you eventually. You are nothing to them, disposable. Stop fighting the inevitable.”_

Kit’s chest heaved as she practically threw herself off her bed, grasping for the switchblade. She didn’t want to let him hurt her. She hated that he was inside her head. He was dead, but even his memory haunted her now. The shirt she’d worn earlier that day was likely ruined beyond repair from the bloodstains, but she didn’t care. Kit wouldn’t let him hurt her. If that meant hurting herself to make his voice stop, then so be it. 

The steady drip of the blood, barely audible through the soft music playing, helped Kit even her breathing a little. Her arms were sore, her throat was dry, and her chest hurt, but Thomas had shut up. Thomas had shut up and that was worth her aching forearms. 

Kit waited for the wounds to begin clotting before she climbed back into bed. She’d have to find the first aid kit tomorrow to disinfect them. She knew this song and dance well. Cut, disinfect, wait, cut again. It’s not like any of them would care, save Anna. And what Anna didn’t know wouldn’t disappoint her.

**~~~~~~**

The next morning found Lina up first as usual. She stretched as she finished her morning prayer and stepped from her room. The scent of food tugged her nose and she made her way down the stairs curiously. She expected to find Jane in the kitchen, sipping a cup of tea and relishing some quiet before Edward awoke. Instead, there were two plates on the stove, stacked with pancakes and a kettle of tea gently cooling on one of the burners. No note, no sign of anyone, not a sound. 

Lina raised her eyebrow at this strange occurrence but she wouldn’t complain. She poured herself a cup of tea from the kettle and settled down to read the morning paper, which had been left on the table for her. Curious, considering no one else was awake. 

Footsteps on the stairs a while later made Lina glance up and she smiled as Jane strode in with Edward’s carseat in tow. They exchanged good mornings before Jane’s attention switched to the stove. “Oh, did you make breakfast?” she asked. 

“Not me,” Lina told her. “I thought it was you.”

“Not me, either…” Jane’s eyebrows creased in confusion, but she would investigate the pancakes later. For now, she needed to get a bottle made up. Opening the microwave, she blinked in surprise. Last night, she’d left two plates of leftovers in the microwave, one for Kit and one for Anne. Neither were there now. Instead, a freshly made bottle waited to be warmed up. 

“Did you make this bottle?” she called to Lina, starting the timer. 

“I haven’t touched his mix,” Lina responded. She set the paper down. This was an odd series of events. Breakfast and tea already made, the leftovers gone, a bottle prepared… What was going on?

Cathy shuffled in with a yawn. “Mornin’,” she mumbled, slumping down at the table. Her nose pricked. “Ooh, Jane made buttermilk pancakes. That’s great.”

“I didn’t make them,” Jane told her, setting a plate in front of her. 

“Lina?” Cathy turned to her godmother, taking a hearty bite of the fluffy pancakes. 

Lina shook her head. “Not me, either. I found them here right after my morning prayer.”

Cathy paused in her eating. Mysterious pancakes? Who would’ve made them? Anne as an apology for yelling yesterday? No, she would’ve just cleaned the main floor. Anna for being cross with them? No, she seemed adamant that they were all in the wrong. Cathy couldn’t recall the music in Kit’s room stopping at all during the night, and she hadn’t heard any footsteps, either. 

“How odd,” she muttered, taking another bite of the suspicious pancakes. She hadn’t dropped dead, so they weren’t poisoned. And she wasn’t feeling groggy, so they weren’t drugged. They were safe, just strange. 

A little while later, they all heard heavy footsteps on the stairs and glanced up. Anne shuffled in, rubbing her bloodshot eyes groggily. “Hey,” she mumbled hoarsely. 

“There are some mystery pancakes on the stove if you want some,” Jane told her, gently patting Edward’s back. 

“Wha’sa mystry?” Anne asked, stacking a plate with them and warming them up in the microwave. 

“We don’t know who made them,” Cathy responded, finishing up her plate. 

Anne blinked at her, and then glanced at the pancakes. She hummed softly. Instead of grabbing a utensil when they finished heating up, she just picked one up and took a bite of it. Lina gave her a disapproving glare, but Anne ignored it. 

“Kit,” Anne stated. 

The entire room stiffened at the name. Just like that, the tension of the previous day returned. Edward released a burp and Jane asked hesitantly, “What about her?”

“She made the pancakes,” Anne responded. “She always adds some honey to the mix cause sometime she don’t feel like syrup. These are hers.”

Lina’s nose wrinkled at the explanation. “I think I’ll pass on eating any. Nothing good will come from accepting gifts from a deviant.”

Anne just blinked at her and shrugged. “Suit yourself.” She grabbed a fork and the syrup and headed for her room. 

Anna strode into the room next. Completely ignoring everyone and the pancakes, she grabbed two protein bars and returned to her room. They could hear music behind her door, so they assumed she was doing her morning workout. 

Cathy opted to head out for a walk since she’d eaten. While getting her shoes and jacket, she noticed that Kit’s outdoor gear was missing. She must’ve gone out. Probably for classes. None of them knew her school schedule or when her leave of absence was due to end. She’d be back soon enough. Not something for Cathy to worry about.

At a nearby cafe, Kit huddled in one of the back booths, staring down into her cup of coffee. She hated the stuff. She preferred flavored energy drinks, and even those were used sparingly. She’d rather be drinking some tea, but she didn’t want to be in the house when any of the others woke up. 24 hour cafes were just easier, even if all she could get was coffee. 

_I wonder if they even notice I’m gone,_ she thought, but she shook it away. She doubted it. And even if they did, none of them would care, so it didn’t matter anyway. Opening her French textbook, she decided to get some practice in. She didn’t want to fall behind the lessons, even if she knew French almost as well as she did English at this point. 

_So great to know that my affinity for the language comes from being the wife history forgot about,_ she thought venomously, flipping through the pages. _No children, no history, just a whore, beheaded like her cousin, dumped in the same unmarked grave._

Her wrists twinged and she tried to fight down the pain. She’d already cut them this morning after making the pancakes. She had to wait some time before she could do it again. Instead, she threw herself into practicing under her breath. If she was good for nothing else, she’d at least try to make Anne paying for her studies seem worth it.

Just like the day before, most of the household was stuck in silence. Jane checked the ingredients for lunch and hummed. She’d have to go shopping again soon. Pulling out her phone, she very nearly pressed the call button beside Kit’s name. Kit usually babysat for her if she wanted to leave the house without Edward. But considering who Kit was…

Jane bit her lip. Sure, she didn’t want Kit to starve or anything, but… considering who Kit was in the past, she couldn’t, in good conscious, let her around Edward. Not until they know how much of Katherine had seeped into Kit. As much as Jane loved Kit, she refused to let her son be raised by a deviant. With a sigh, she headed upstairs to ask Lina if she would be available to do it. 

Anne chewed her pancakes contemplatively. Kit had made them before anyone was up. Did she sleep last night? Anne winced, remembering that Katherine had terrible nightmares. Would those carry over to Kit? Or would she spend some of her nights the same way Anne often did, without sleep?

Anne hated leaving her cousin alone to deal with that kind of stuff. Kit could always come to her about this sort of thing before. Was being angry at Katherine really worth making Kit face the night on her own?

Anne was really starting to hate these stupid fucking memories.

Everyone went to bed somewhat more relaxed that night. Yes, the tension was still there, but without seeing Kit, they could all work through their feelings about her a little bit more than the previous day. Jane and Anne, at least, had partial plans for how to approach her. Anna’s behavior toward her wouldn’t change and that was final. Lina was not keen on associating with a deviant, but she also felt it slightly unfair to kick her out at the moment. 

As the clock in the living room struck eleven, the front door gently slid open and then carefully shut. The bolt clicked into place and Kit slipped out of her outdoor gear. She shuffled toward the living room, needing a moment to prepare herself before climbing the stairs. Her hopes for not running into anyone were dashed when she found Cathy in one of the armchairs, laptop perched on her lap as she read over something. 

Attentive brown eyes lifted to her and subsequently narrowed. Kit felt her heart sink, but she was too tired to climb the stairs just yet. So, swallowing back her apprehension, she kept her head down and made her way to the chair in the corner. She didn’t feel like antagonizing anyone by being too close to them. 

Cathy watched her for a moment before returning her attention to her laptop. She worked in silence for all of a moment before saying, “I assume the pancakes this morning were an apology?”

“What?” Kit blinked over at her. 

“The pancakes.” Cathy didn’t look at her. “They were an apology.”

“For what?”

Kit regretted it the moment the question slipped out. Cathy’s scathing gaze zeroed in on her now. If looks could kill, Kit would swear she’d be in hell with the fire erupting in Cathy’s eyes. 

“Well, for starters, for being the reason I had to sacrifice five years of my life to an ulcer-infested toad with more deaths on his hands than teeth in his mouth.” Her voice was biting, vicious, cold. Kit flinched. “Or possibly, an apology for the lie that cost you your life.”

“I never lied to _anyone_ ,” Kit piped up. She was tired, but she was _not_ going to be lectured this way. “The only lie I _ever_ told was telling Henry I loved him!”

“You lied by omission!” Cathy spat. “Had you been honest about your stupid trysts before he chose you, you might’ve gotten away with your head!”

“And he would’ve zeroed in on you _anyway!_ ” Kit growled. “So I don’t see how me dying or me not dying would’ve made a difference!”

Cathy’s jaw clenched and she hissed, “It would’ve made all the difference! You’re the only reason I was at court as often as I _was!_ If I wasn’t swept in by your pretty words, Henry wouldn’t have even noticed I _existed._ But because you didn’t have the good sense to just wait for him to die, _I was chosen instead._ No matter how you look at it, him marrying me was _your fault!”_

Cathy huffed, her chest heaving with her anger. She hated this, hated that someone she had come to love and trust had also been the one to betray her. She’d adored Katherine, and even after the execution, she’d tried to hold onto the hope that maybe she was wrong, maybe things weren’t what they seemed. But then the marriage came. Katherine Howard had been her friend, but she had been Cathy’s downfall, too. Cathy had kept her despair and resentment to herself, not wanting the other queens to question her about it. But with Kit here now, claiming she hadn’t done anything wrong, Cathy couldn’t let that go without reprimand.

Footsteps on the stairs alerted them to someone else’s presence. “Cathy?” Lina’s voice called from the hallway. “I heard your voice. Are you alright?”

“I’m _fine,_ ” Cathy huffed, standing and shutting her laptop. “Just making sure Kit knows where she went wrong.”

Lina wrapped an arm around her, whispering words of comfort to try calming her a little. Cathy gave her a strained smile before heading up to her room. Lina stepped over to the living room and her eyes immediately hardened. She surveyed the young woman curled into a ball in the corner of the room. 

“I would suggest not antagonizing the household,” she said calmly. Kit shuddered. Her voice was pure ice. “You’re lucky I don’t have the presence of mind to kick you out or you wouldn’t even be allowed here right now. You should feel grateful.” She glanced down at the floor and sighed. “I can’t believe I trusted you. I let my guard down, assuming you were the same as Anne. She and I took some time to get over our disagreement, but you? I doubt I could ever look passed… _this._ ”

As Lina swept back up the stairs, Kit stayed in her spot. She waited. When the living room clock struck twelve, she deemed it safe. Her footsteps were light as a feather as she headed up the stairs to her room. In the quiet of the house, no one heard the steady drip of blood on fabric or the sobs muffled by a pillow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna decides enough is enough and catalyzes the situation. Now the rest of the queens have to pick up the pieces scattered by their behavior.

A week.

It had been a week since anyone had seen hide or hair of Kit. Cathy knew at least part of it had to do with their talk that night. She had no idea what her godmother had said to Kit, but it was clear Lina must have had a hand in Kit’s disappearance as well. They knew she hadn’t run off. Every afternoon, her music would switch on, soft but audible through the door. And despite her skepticism about Kit, Jane was relieved that the plates of dinner she made up were actually being consumed.

After that first day, Kit still made breakfast every morning. She put on tea, coffee, and prepared a bottle for Edward in the microwave. Lina was adamant not to accept too much from her and only drank the tea. Jane couldn’t help but be grateful for the bottle. It did save her time. Cathy didn’t care who put the coffee on so long as she got to drink it. Kit’s disappearance mainly only affected two people in the house.

Anna was beside herself with worry for her best friend. She couldn’t assess Kit’s health, her mental state, none of it. They’d all seen how Katherine had been on her own when the memories had come back. They still didn’t know how much of her had melded with Kit’s personality and Anna was worried. What if Kit had a panic attack while none of them were around? What if she went out and some sleazebag tried hitting on her? Anna just wanted to make sure Kit was okay.

In the same vein, Anne just wanted to talk things out with her baby cousin. The morning after Cathy and Lina spoke with Kit, Anne had gone to Kit’s room to speak with her, but had found her room empty. Nothing seemed to be amiss, Kit just wasn’t in there. A quick check downstairs had confirmed that Kit’s outdoor gear was gone. From then on, Anne tried staying up to wait for Kit to return, but always ended up asleep around midnight. And even when she accidentally slept in the living room, Kit somehow managed to cook breakfast without alerting her.

Honestly, it made Anne’s heart ache a little. This was the same behavior Kit had displayed back when Anne had first gained custody of her. Feather light footsteps, disappearing for hours at a time, isolating herself… Anne didn’t want Kit to think no one was in her corner. She’d made such good progress over the years, Anne hated to think her outburst had sent them backwards.

It was for this reason that Anne found herself awake before dawn, trudging down the stairs to wait for Kit. Someone had to talk to her. It had been a week. They needed to know how she was. Anne was nursing a small cup of water when Anna dragged herself in. They glanced to one another and Anna’s eyes narrowed. Anne lowered her head guiltily, knowing exactly why Anna was angry with her. 

“I… I want to check her. And… and I wanna apologize.”

Anna nodded. That was acceptable. They had similar goals then. They both sat at the table and waited. They weren’t sure when exactly Kit tended to wake up, but they would wait as long as it took.

Jane stretched as she prepared herself to do the laundry. She was the only one brave enough to do that chore. Some of Edward’s soiled clothes tended to scare off even Anna. So, Jane took laundry. She was separating things out when she noticed something. One of Kit’s shirts. It had terrible bloodstains on it and Jane’s heart leapt into her throat. Why…? Where did the blood come from? Was she hurt?

Without a second thought, she headed for the kitchen to see if Kit was there. If so, they needed to talk.

Sunlight awoke Kit that morning. Fantastic, that meant she was late. If she didn’t hurry, the others would probably burn the house down trying to make something to eat. She knew that wasn’t true, but she needed something to feel useful.

As she dressed, Kit checked the fresh lines on her arms. They were still a bit raw, since she’d made them fairly late the night before. She’d have to wait a bit before she could make new ones. Plus, she’d thrown her shirt in the laundry with the rest of her things, so she’d have to wait for it to get clean. Great. As if anything else could go wrong today. Grabbing a sweater, Kit slipped from her room and made her way down the stairs. As always, she was quiet as a feather, not wanting to disturb any of the others. If she flinched slightly while passing her cousin’s room, no one was around to notice. 

Spinning around the doorframe into the kitchen, Kit stopped in her tracks. Of course there were already people awake and in here. She took in Anne and Anna’s worried expressions and Jane’s shock before Jane lowered her head and bit her lip. Anne opened her mouth, but closed it and rubbed her arm instead. Yeah, Kit figured that would be their reaction. Didn’t stop it from hurting, but she’d just bottle that pain for later.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. She should’ve just left as soon as she saw that the sun was up. None of them wanted to see her, she should’ve just stayed invisible. Let them burn down the house or whatever. Her best option was to head back to her room and wait for them all to go to sleep again. She’d avoided them for a week, she could keep it up.

As Kit turned to leave the room, though, Anna stepped forward. Being the closest to the door, she had the best shot at stopping Kit from leaving. None of them had seen her for several days, and they just wanted her to be okay.

As Anna moved toward Kit, Anne noticed some small things about her cousin that the others wouldn’t. Kit was pale, paler than usual. And there were deep bags under her eyes. Her movements were sluggish and jerky, too. Not good. They needed to sit her down and check her health immediately.

“Kit, please wait!” Anna hated that she had to, but if she didn’t do something, Kit would leave and they wouldn’t be able to make sure she was okay. So, with that resolve set, she reached out and grasped around Kit’s forearm. 

She was unprepared for the pained hiss that her touch was met with. 

Anna stared at her in shock. She wasn’t gripping Kit tighter than if she was stroking her hair. It was only enough to keep her in place, not pain her. So why…? Slowly, her eyes trailed to Kit’s arm, covered by a long-sleeved sweater, like always. She began inching the sleeve up.

Anne tensed when she saw what Anna was doing and she moved closer. A chill slid down her spine at what Anna might be thinking and her stomach lurched. No. Please no. Not again…

“Anna, don’t,” Kit pleaded quietly, but Anna silenced her with a stern look.

The sleeve slid higher and scars presented themselves to the kitchen’s inhabitants. Bright pink and red lines covered all along the pale flesh of Kit’s arm, some of them looking very old and others, extremely recent. Anne reached out to grip the table to steady herself. Dizziness clouded her brain seeing those lines again. Lines she _swore_ she’d never give Kit a reason to have ever again now marked up her baby cousin. Anna’s hand had slipped down to grip Kit’s fingers in her own so she didn’t further hurt her and she was glad for it. Anna didn’t know what she would do if she wasn’t holding on to someone. 

“Kit,” she whispered hoarsely. 

“We need the first aid kit,” Jane gasped, her eyes wide as she took in the damage. This was why the shirt was bloody. Oh god, _this was why the shirt was bloody_. “Some of them look fresh, they could get infected.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Kit muttered. 

All eyes snapped up to her face in shock. 

“Kit?” Anne breathed, her voice strained.

“Kit, what are you talkin’ about?” Anna stared at her friend. “They need to be healed up-.”

“It _doesn’t matter,”_ Kit reiterated. “My pain has never mattered. It didn’t matter when I cried. It didn’t matter when I begged them to stop, when I offered them _anything_ else, was willing to throw my own life away so long as they left me alone.”

Anna backed away as Kit’s voice filled with more and more venom, rising with her ire. Jane and Anne took a few steps back as well, Anne’s hips bumping into the counter. That didn’t deter Kit, though, so tired and emotionally raw as she was. 

“Nothing I say has ever mattered,” she spat. “It didn’t _matter_ that I was taken advantage of, it didn’t _matter_ that all I wanted was a simple friend or someone who wouldn’t throw me away, it didn’t _matter_ that I had no control over what happened to me because they wouldn’t take no, they told me it would stop hurting and it didn’t, they told me they loved me and _lied_.

“It doesn’t matter that my family blackmailed me with the ‘loving trysts’ I’d had, doesn’t matter that they abandoned me and stabbed me in the back anyway when it suited them, doesn’t matter that I didn’t _want_ that stupid affair in the first place, that I was _forced_ to write love letters to someone who had taken advantage of me just like all the rest.” Kit’s eyes burned into all of them. “And it certainly didn’t matter that I was beheaded just because of the misconceptions of a man with more affairs than brain cells. All that matters is that I’ll be remembered as the _whore_ for all of history.”

Turning on her heel, she sniffed and yanked her sleeve back down. “So forgive me for thinking that _this_ doesn’t matter either. It never has before, so it never _will._ ”

Heading through the hall, Kit grabbed her jacket from the coatrack and headed out the door. The kitchen was silent for a long moment. Jane stared down at the floor as she tried to make sense of all that Kit had said, the bloody shirt clenched tightly in her hands. Anne’s hands covered her mouth, her eyes wide as tears leaked down her cheeks. Anna sank into a chair in anguish, her head falling into her hands. On the second story, Cathy and Lina shared dumbfounded looks. They had just been coming down for breakfast when they’d heard Kit’s voice rising from the kitchen. Of course they stopped to listen, but they hadn’t expected… _that_. Anna had been the only one to know the full story and even she now faced the reality that she didn’t know _everything._

How much pain could one girl hold inside herself? And for so long?

Anna gritted her teeth as she slammed her fist down on the table. Jane jumped, looking to her in surprise. “Are you _happy_ now?” Anna hissed, glaring at the table.

“We… we didn’t know-.” Jane tried only to be shot down as Anna swept to her feet. 

“Well, that just excuses your behavior then, doesn’ it.” Her lips pulled into an enraged snarl as she faced her. “Your lack o’ knowledge just excuses the way ya treated her. It’s not like, ya know, ya coulda _asked_ or anythin’. Oh, but that would require actual _empathy_ and _thought_ , isn’ tha’ right?”

Anne flinched at the jab and her eyes fell to the floor. “I always thought… I thought she got the same wrap I did, that she was falsely accused. And then she said it was true n’… I…” She was so _stupid._ Of course Kit would see this as her family abandoning her again. Back then, Anne had promised to listen, to be there. Instead, the second Anne felt betrayed, she’d shut Kit out. She was no different than the rest of their family.

“Didn’ stop ya from turnin’ ya back on’er tho, did it?” Anna huffed, causing Anne to flinch again. “She looked up ta you and ya shunned’er just like the rest of these so-called _queens.”_ She shook her head with a heavy sigh. “I gotta go find’er. Poor thing must be torn to bits…”

“I’ll help.” Anne whispered. “I mean, more people looking means we might… find’er easier.”

Anna sighed. “Yeah, sure. She’s gotta be around here somewhere, can’t have gone far.”

“I’ll grab a blanket and come, too,” Jane piped up. “It’s chilly out and she wasn’t wearin’ anything but a coat.” She gripped the back of a chair and added, slightly quieter, “And… I owe her quite an apology…”

“I imagine we all do,” Lina stated, stepping into the room. “And the longer we stay here talking about it, the further she gets. So, are we going or not?”

Anna nodded and headed out toward the coatrack. She noted with some concern that Kit’s shoes were still by the door. She was barefoot in the cold. And considering she was anemic, with her bloodloss, she could get seriously hurt. This wasn’t good. 

The others hurried to get their coats and shoes on, too. Jane grabbed a spare blanket from the closet and started for the stairs to get Edward ready. Cathy remained by the kitchen. Lina glanced to her quizzically. “Someone needs to stay behind,” Cathy explained, making Jane pause. “Just in case she decides to come back while the others are looking. I can look after Eddie while you all search.”

Anne nodded to her. “You’ve got our numbers in case she returns.” Without another word, she and Anna headed out the door.

“He just needs his bottle,” Jane called as she and Lina also set out in search for their missing member. 

Once they were gone, Cathy sat down at the kitchen table with a heavy sigh. Truth be told, she would have preferred being out looking for Kit as well, but she couldn’t trust herself to do that. Not without some introspection. After all, she had held so much disdain for Katherine Howard, despised her for years because she thought it was Katherine’s fault Henry had need of another wife. If the woman had just _waited_ a few more years, the lecherous toad would’ve been dead and she could have whoever she so fancied. Instead, she’d had an affair, been caught, and beheaded. 

Certainly, it had occurred to Cathy back then that Katherine had been framed, that all of the reports were just eager to paint her in a bad light to curry favor with the sickly king. Unfortunately, back then and here in the present, it was just… easier to blame Katherine than search for the truth. Cathy was tired and upset that she’d had to put her love on hold for a man with more ulcers than teeth. She wanted someone to blame for Henry choosing her and Katherine had been an easy out. 

Pressing a hand to her forehead, Cathy took deep breaths. She’d known of Katherine’s age, of course. Everyone knew. No one spoke up about it, but it was hard not to notice how uncomfortable everyone got whenever Henry and Katherine were in the same room together. The way she had to be by his side to remind everyone who she belonged to just made everyone tense. It was disgusting, knowing Henry had taken such a young woman as a wife, but no one dared speak up for fear of triggering the king’s easily explosive temper. 

Katherine herself had always been a sweetheart. Her smile could light a room, even if she tended to be on the more timid side. When Henry and his associates weren’t around, she was a genuine ray of sunshine. She may not have been as old as Cathy, but she’d still been very intelligent. Her thirst for knowledge had led them to talk for hours until she was summoned back to the king’s side. Whenever she thought back on those moments after meeting Kit, Cathy tended to forget her resentment because Kit was so sweet and gentle that she couldn’t reconcile the image of this modern girl with the betrayal she’d felt toward Katherine after the execution in the past.

Cathy couldn’t keep thinking about it. The others may think they owe apologies, but Cathy knew that, of all of them, she owed one the most. She’d yelled at Kit and belittled her for her past without even asking for the full story. However, she couldn’t let herself wallow in the past, not while the others were out looking for Kit. She had a duty right now.

Moving to the hall closet, she grabbed another spare blanket and laid it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs. Once that was done, she made her way to the cupboards to check and see if they had anything quick she could heat up. If Kit did come back before the others found her, Cathy would do her damnedest to take care of the poor girl. She would only apologize if Kit was willing to hear it. She owed Katherine that much at least.

**~~~~~~**

Kit sighed as she dragged herself through the streets. She’d been out for a few hours probably. Anna was probably worried out of her mind. And, even if Jane had shunned her, Kit knew she was likely also concerned for her well-being. Maybe Anne was worried, but Kit doubted it. Since when did her family ever care about her? She really didn’t feel like facing any of them right now, but it was cold and she was just… so tired. 

As she plodded through the back alleys near their house, she heard them, calling for her. She knew they were looking, but she really couldn’t face them. If they were out looking, then she might have a moment of rest before they found her and all of them clamored over themselves to apologize for their behavior. A bitter part of her wanted to refuse all such apologies. They didn’t care before they knew the truth, but suddenly they’ll try to make it up to her? She didn’t need platitudes and false pleasantries like that. Still… Anne and Anna were her best friends. And she and Cathy had been close in the previous life before all of the nonsense with Thomas went down. And… she was so desperately tired of being let down and having to push people away…

With a deep sigh, Kit slipped through the shadows of the alleys, hiding behind staircases and doorways and the veil of her own hair to remain out of sight as she backtracked. They were worried, but she wouldn’t know if she had the mindset to forgive them until she had a proper sleep. With that resolve set, she made her way back to the house and slid through the unlocked back door without hindrance. 

“I figured you would use that one instead of the front.”

The voice made Kit freeze. Someone was still home. Slowly, she lifted her head and met the calm brown eyes of Catherine Parr, watching her carefully. Kit’s shoulders slumped. She should’ve just stayed out. Can’t back out now…

“Hey,” she mumbled. Kit was too tired to even muster up the venom from earlier. She just wanted Cathy to yell at her for making everyone worry so she could get a little sleep. 

Cathy set her book down and stood. Keeping her movements relaxed and unthreatening, she reached out to Kit’s shoulder and gently guided her toward the table. “The others are out looking for you,” she said quietly. “However, I don’t think it’s a good idea to call them back just yet, considering your current state.”

Kit blinked at her as Cathy sat her down in a chair near Edward’s carseat and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders. Kit burrowed into the fabric, happy for something other than her jacket to keep her warm. Cathy stepped over to the sink and ran some water for a bit before bringing a container over to the table and setting it by Kit’s feet. 

“Put your feet in this,” Cathy instructed quietly. “We need to warm you up or you’ll get sick. And then Jane will be beside herself with worry.”

This wasn’t at all what Kit expected to be met with when she returned. Why wasn’t Cathy yelling at her for being selfish or something? Why hadn’t she gone out to look with the others? Why wasn’t she still ignoring Kit’s existence? Kit slipped her feet into the warm water, but kept her eyes on Cathy, confused. 

“Not to sound ungrateful, but… you stayed here? To wait for me?” Kit asked softly. 

“I did,” Cathy sighed, now over by the microwave. “I figured someone needed to remain in case you came back. I intend to apologize as well, but only if you’re in the mindset to hear it. I wasn’t the nicest person and you’re certainly under no obligation to listen to me after the way I treated you.” The microwave dinged. “Besides, making sure you don’t catch a cold is more important than apologizing at the moment. One step at a time.”

She brought over a bowl of beef stew and set it in front of Kit. “It’s… a little late for breakfast foods, so I made you this to help warm up your insides.”

Kit accepted the stew gratefully and took a small bite. Having anything to eat after that morning made her feel so much better. Her shoulders relaxed just slightly as her mind focused solely on getting some nutrition. Cathy watched her, not wanting her to burn herself or eat too fast. 

Minutes passed in silence with only the quiet sound of Kit’s chewing and Edward’s occasional coo between them. Cathy read her book so that she didn’t make Kit uncomfortable by staring, though she did glance up every now and then to make sure she was alright. Once finished, Kit made to stand. Cathy snagged her empty bowl and rinsed it in the sink before turning to Kit again.

“You should sleep,” Cathy told her. “You don’t look like you’ve gotten rest in a long while.”

“Nah, ’m fine,” Kit muttered, standing and stepping from the now lukewarm water. “Better call the others back so they know I’m okay.”

“Something that can wait until after you’ve slept.” Cathy’s eyes turned stern. “I know I’m the _last_ person to be telling anyone to get more sleep, but you’ve been out in the cold for hours and probably didn’t get a good rest before then.” She moved to Kit’s side and tentatively placed a hand on her shoulder. “Please, just sleep. We can deal with everything as it comes, alright?”

Kit stared up at her, wondering where the trick was. Cathy hadn’t been around when she had yelled that morning, and the others wouldn’t have had enough time to tell her about it in detail before they’d started looking. Why was she being so nice all of a sudden? A headache pounded the side of Kitty’s head and she sighed. “Yeah, okay. I’ll sleep first.”

The pair of them made their way up the stairs. Cathy reassured Kit that she just wanted to make sure she didn’t fall as they entered Kit’s room. Kit snuggled under her blanket and Cathy left the door open a crack. Neither of them really knew how to treat the situation, but all things considered, this was probably the best outcome for everyone. Now they could work to right their mistakes. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Kit storms out in a rage, the rest of the house agrees to hear her out instead of judging her again.

Anne stared at the ground as she and Anna trudged along the sidewalk. They’d been walking around looking for Kit for two hours. No one had seen a single sign of her anywhere and they were all starting to get even more worried than before. From the looks of things, either Kit had managed to run further than they expected or she was in trouble somehow. 

Anne couldn’t believe she’d been so stupid. Every time she blinked, she saw those lines, both from when Kit was thirteen and the ones from just a little bit ago. She hated those lines. She loathed them with every ounce of her being. Kit should _never_ have felt the need to make them. 

That thought only worsened her hatred at herself. She’d promised Kit to be there. After everything they’d gone through, from Anne tearing apart Agnes’ manor to gaining custody of Kit from Edmund to before everything started last week, Anne had been there for her baby cousin. The other children were beloved by the whole family, even Kit’s younger sister. But they had all turned their backs on Kit, so Anne had promised never to do that. After regaining her past life memories, Anne knew what it was like for your whole family to turn against you. She never wanted Kit to feel like she had no one. 

But that’s exactly what Anne had done. 

“You’re crying again,” Anna said softly beside her. 

“Sorry,” Anne muttered, wiping her eyes. 

“You don’t gotta apologize.” Anna scuffed her foot on the ground as they continued. 

“Maybe not to you,” Anne reminded her in a quiet voice. 

Anna gave a half-heated shrug. “Yeah, well… Mistakes were made. Most we can do now is figure out how to fix’em.”

They lapsed into silence. Anna knew Anne was beating herself up about everything harder than the rest of them. She wanted to rage at Anne for not being there for Kit, but she couldn’t. Sure, the rest of them had turned their backs on her, but she couldn’t fault them when she should’ve done more, too. Kit was hurting. She was hurting _alone_. Sure, Anna knew she was around, but she could’ve checked up on her, figured out where she went every morning, slept outside her door, _something_ so that Kit knew someone _cared._

Suddenly, Anna’s phone sprang to life and she hurried to answer it. “Yo,” she called. 

“Lina and I just finished checking the cafe down the street,” Jane sighed. “Apparently, Kit’s been in every day the past week, but they haven’t seen her today.”

“At least we know where she’d get off to,” Anna muttered. “Thanks, Jane, we’ll keep searching. She’s gotta be around her somewhere.”

“We’ll find’er,” Jane agreed before hanging up. 

Anne glanced over. “No sign?” 

“She goes to the cafe down the street when she leaves the house,” Anna relayed. “But she hasn’t been in today.”

“Dammit, where could she be?” Anne mumbled. “She can’t have gotten _that_ far!”

Anna was about to retort something along the lines of the fact that Kit shouldn’t have had a reason to run out in the _first place_ , but both their phones stopped that boiling volcano. Anne hurried to pull hers out while Anna answered immediately. 

“Hello?” they chorused. Lina and Jane could be heard over the line as well. 

“She came home,” Cathy told them tiredly. 

Before she could get anything out, Jane was already speaking. “Is she cold? Did you give her a blanket? We’re turning around now. Does she need anything to eat? She didn’t eat breakfast, so I’ll cook when I get there.”

“Jane, calm down,” Cathy interrupted. “She’s fine. I wrapped her in a blanket and gave her some beef stew. She’s fast asleep upstairs now.”

“We’ll be there in a sec,” Anne said. “Keep an eye on her, will you? And see if you can’t find what she’s been using to cut with.”

“Cut?” Cathy asked in genuine confusion and a small hint of dread. 

Instead of letting Anne continue, Anna broke in. “We’ll explain when we get there. See you in a bit, Cathy.”

They all hung up and spun around. Passersby paused to stare at the four women racing down the sidewalk toward their house. None of the group cared, though. They needed to assess Kit’s health. 

Anne, being the fastest, was the first through the door, followed quickly by Jane and Anna. Lina took the time to lock the door behind them all while the other three headed for the kitchen. 

“In here,” Cathy called from the living room. 

Changing trajectory, everyone made their way in and settled around the room. Anne’s leg bounced anxiously as she watched Cathy. Once they all were in, Cathy handed Edward over to Jane and sighed. 

“What’s the news?” Lina asked. 

“She wasn’t doing too hot,” Cathy replied. “She was practically blue by the time she tried to sneak in through the back door. I put her feet in some warm water to warm her up slowly and gave her some microwaved beef stew. I added sleeping pills so that she could get some actual rest. I put her to sleep maybe ten minutes ago or so. Hard to keep track, had to change Edward’s diaper before I could call you all.”

They all took a moment to digest this. Kit was safe. She was safe and asleep in her room. That’s good, at least. They had time to figure things out. Speaking of…

“So, the cutting?” Cathy inquired, turning tired eyes to Anne. 

Anne shifted as they all looked to her. “She… she used to do it, before I got custody of her. When she felt like she had no one to turn to, she would… After a while, she didn’t bother turning to anyone at all, and only went for the knife or razor or whatever she could find at the time.”

She swallowed heavily and tears coated her eyes again. “I caught’er doin' it shortly after I gained custody of’er. I stopped’er, told’er she could come to me whenever she felt like doin' that.” She took a deep breath. “Uh, when Anna, Jane, and I finally caught’er in the kitchen, Anna… Anna must’ve irritated some’a the fresh ones an’… an’ Jane found the shirt she was usin' so she didn’t get blood anywhere…”

Anne’s voice broke and she stared hard at her lap. Her fists clenched, nails digging into her palms. What a fucking mess…

Cathy nodded slowly. “What we need to figure out now is how to proceed,” she sighed. 

“What do you mean?” Jane asked. 

“We can’t just run over ourselves to apologize,” Lina pointed out. She brushed nonexistent dust from her pants legs. “She won’t trust us, probably still doesn’t. We can’t apologize without hearing her story and we can’t just do it all at once. Not only will that cause an unintelligible cacophony, but we need to be sincere about it. Yes, we’ll mean it, but she’s got to be in the right state of mind to think about it.”

She paused and took a deep breath. “Which is why, I think Anna should be the one there when she wakes up.”

“What?” Anna blinked. “Why me?”

“Because she _knows_ you were there for her,” Lina pointed out. “You didn’t hesitate to take her out when we all turned hostile, you went to try and comfort her after dinner, you’re the only one who stayed on her side through the whole ordeal. She knows that she can still trust you, at least to some degree. You’re the best choice to be there when she wakes.”

Anna nodded slowly. “Okay. But ya gotta promise that if she still wants to tell her story, you’ll hear her out this time.”

After all of the queens agree to the promise, Anna made her way up the stairs. She was very careful about her footsteps and opened Kit’s door as quietly as she could. When she received no answer, Anna crept in and sat beside the bed. With a soft sigh, she looked over at her best friend. _Don’t worry, Kat,_ she thought, getting comfortable. _I’m here. I’ll always be here, Schatzie._

**~~~~~**

Kit gave a soft groan as she started to wake. She didn’t expect to be that tired, but with the lack of sleep and dealing with the nightmares on her own, and, oh yeah, the walking around for three hours in the cold, she guessed it was inevitable. 

Pushing herself up, Kit rubbed her eyes and blinked around. She spotted someone nearby and stiffened. Anna came into view, making Kit relax a little. 

“Hey, liebling, it’s just me,” Anna told her gently. “How are you feelin’?”

“Okay,” Kit mumbled. She wiped drool from the side of her face and gave a yawn. “Sorry I worried you.”

Anna took one of Kit’s hands in her own, cradling it softly. “Kat, you know I’ll worry about you regardless. It’s a carry-over from the past.” She reached up to tap Kit’s nose. “But… you did worry me a lot this past week.”

Kit avoided her eyes. “Anna, you shouldn’t worry. No one else does.”

Anna shook her head. “Anne’s been worrying about you all week.”

“If she was actually worried, she wouldn’t have pushed me away,” Kit huffed venomously. “She promised she’d be there and listen, but she didn’t.”

As tears slipped down her cheeks, Anna climbed up to hold her. “Hey, Schatzie, hey. I’ve got you.”

Kit hugged Anna, taking deep breaths to calm down. Anna was there for her. Anna was safe. “I’m sorry about my arms,” she whimpered. “I just… I didn’t know what else to do.” 

“I know, Kit.” Anna took a deep breath. “But don’t do it again, please, babe. Seein’ you like that, like _this_ , weak and drained. I want to be here for you when you need me.”

“Okay,” Kit mumbled. 

“And the house decided unanimously that you’re not allowed around sharp objects for a while. Not unless someone is there to watch you.”

Kit gave a soft snort. “That’s fair.”

Anne grinned and held her for a little while. “Do you… Um, the others want to apologize, but I told them to wait until you’re in the right headspace. I don’t want anything overwhelming you.”

“They can apologize if they want,” Kit replied with a shrug. “They’ll figure out a way to regardless.”

“Do you feel up to telling them the full story, about your past?” Anna asked, pulling back to look at her seriously. “You don’t have to, but I told them they should’ve known everything before judging you like that.”

Kit stared down at her hands for a sec. Hands just above the scars still healing from last night, from the last week. She took a deep breath. “I think it’ll help… to tell someone about it? Now that I’ve got the memories back. It’ll… help me a little.”

Anna nodded. “Okay, when you’re ready, we can call a house mee-.”

“No, it’s okay,” Kit interrupted. “Um… right now is okay. While I’m… still in the mood?”

“You sure?” Anna asked with concern.

“Yeah.” Kit took a deep breath and gave a determined nod. “Yeah, right now is good. If they feel… up to it.”

Anna leaned forward to kiss the top of her head. “Alright. Lemme go get everyone and I’ll be right back, okay?”

“I can get up!” Kit told her. 

“You will _not_.” Anna gave her a stern look. “You were walking around for around an hour in the freezing cold. _Barefoot._ You are going to stay nice and warm in that bed.”

Kit sulked back with a pout. Anna shot her a grin before heading out. As she closed the door, she turned to the side. Anne looked up at her expectantly from her vigil on the floor. 

“She wants everyone to come hear her side,” Anna said softly. 

“I’ll get Jane and Lina, you grab Cathy?” Anne offered. 

“Sounds good.”

Around five minutes later, after hunting down Jane and Edward doing laundry and Cathy stress-cleaning every room in the house, everyone stood outside Kit’s door. All of them wanted to apologize, to hear her out, but none of them really knew how to convey that to her. Anna took the lead, opening the door carefully.

“Hey, Kat,” she called quietly. “Everyone’s ready. You still good?”

Kit took another deep breath. She could do this. “Yeah, they can come in.”

Anna led everyone into the room. She immediately went right back to the bed and sat down beside Kit. Lina took Kit’s desk chair and Jane and Cathy perched on the desk itself. Cathy noticed a switchblade with curious red marks on it and her stomach fell. While Kit’s eyes were on Anne moving to stand by the closet, Cathy carefully pulled the switchblade into her pants pocket. She’d give it to Anna for safekeeping later. 

Everyone was silent for a little while. Anna rubbed Kit’s back. Having them all in here now had heightened Kit’s nerves, but she knew she had to do this. 

“Um…” Kit bit her lip. “I guess I… better start?”

“Only if you want to,” Jane said softly. 

Kit nodded. Cool. Well, here goes nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of the time stuff isn't inconsistent, by the way. The group was walking around for about two hours, but Kit was walking for around an hour and a half before returning. Because she was cold and tired, time seemed to slug by, which is why she thought she was walking for three or so hours.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Kit has been found, the queens take the time to hear her out and begin rebuilding their bonds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> History buffs, please don’t hate me, but I twisted history a little. I don’t know how Mannox actually died, but since he got off scott-free after Katherine’s execution, I killed him anyway.

Anne’s fist slammed into the wall. Normally, Lina would reprimand her for doing something so violent, but Lina couldn’t find it in herself to think Anne’s reaction was wrong. None of them could. Especially considering Anna had snapped one of the bars from Kit’s headboard when she heard about Culpeper’s involvement. Jane looked mildly sick as everything sank in. 

On the bed, Kit buried her face in her legs. Her shoulders shook as she tried to hold back the worst of her sobs. Broken sobs and harsh breaths filtered from her. She’d tried to force the memories down all week, but telling them… telling them brought everything to the forefront. It wasn’t even _her_ , but at the same time, it _was._ That was _her_ back then. She was the one deprived of a choice, deprived of the chance to say no, groomed to be a good wife, abandoned by her loved ones…

Kit gripped her knees harder. 

Anna wanted to hug her, to hold her, to let her know everything would be okay, but she knew better. Even back then, when she hadn’t fully comprehended her trauma, Katherine had still been sensitive about touch. She’d been groomed to believe every touch was romantic. It’s not like her father or siblings or step-grandmother hugged her, and she’d been too young to remember much of her mother before Joyce passed. The only touch Katherine knew back then was that of the men who wanted her body. 

Cathy took a deep breath through her nose. She knew it would only serve to heighten her rage, but if she focused on her anger, she’d stop breathing altogether. Her hands shook terribly as she tried to think through the sour taste at the back of her throat. She hated those men, hated what they’d done. Katherine… 

Memories flashed in front of Cathy’s eyes. The first time she’d met Her Majesty Howard, Katherine had tried so hard to curtsy properly and remember the necessary etiquette for court greetings. It had endeared her to Cathy almost immediately. The days and nights they would talk together without Henry around replayed in Cathy’s mind, Katherine begging her for more knowledge, knowledge she’d been denied because of her low-born upbringing. Cathy recalled listening to Katherine play the flute and being pulled into the melody, heart and soul. 

If only she’d known during those times that learning such a gift came with a price for the poor queen. 

“This is all my fault.”

All eyes snapped to Anne. She was facing the wall, leaning her forehead against it. Her fist now lay more limply against the wall, but from the way it shook, they all knew she wanted to hit something again. 

“What do you mean?” Jane asked curiously. She gently rocked Edward, not wanting him to get upset by the tension in the room. 

“If I’d just… _not_ given into my dad, not caught Henry’s eye… If I wasn’t some stupid political _pawn_ , I’d’ve been able to visit Edmund, see my cousins…” Anne gritted her teeth. “I might’ve been able to protect her.”

Lina snorted, but not necessarily in contempt for Anne. “No, doubtful.” She sighed, running a hand through her abundance of curls. “In case you forgot, _none_ of us really had a choice in _anything_ that happened to us. You weren’t the only political pawn sent over to marry Henry. Spain, France, Germany, all of them had to cave to his will.” 

“Lina’s right,” Jane sighed. “Even back then, when he was pursuing me… I was grateful to have caught the king’s eye, to… be your replacement. But I knew that… I knew that if I didn’t give him a boy, my blood could very well have joined yours on that tower.” She looked down at her beautiful baby boy. “Even if it was an honor to be chosen by him, none of us really had a choice.”

“When Henry says it’s you, it’s you,” Cathy muttered. “None of us could have done anything about our situations.”

Anna gripped the bar from Kit’s headboard and grumbled, “Doesn’t stop me from wishing I could’ve gone and killed all those assholes while I had the power to.”

“I did.”

Now, all eyes flicked to Cathy and Kit slowly lifted her head in confusion. Cathy rubbed her hands on her sweats, but she didn’t back down. If they were going to tell some truths then… maybe this would help ease Kit’s mind, at least a little. 

“You did?” Anna asked slowly. “But… I thought Culpeper… and Dereham… Weren’t they-.”

“Beheaded just before Katherine, yeah,” Cathy coughed. “But, um… Mannox got away. I… I couldn’t have that.”

“So you…?” Lina knew where the line of questioning was going and she was somewhat afraid of this particular skeleton in her goddaughter’s closet. Still, she persisted. They couldn’t let it fall now. 

Cathy shrugged. “Well, Henry was sick. It’s not like he could pay much attention to anything. So, while he was in bed one day, I… sent an assassin, a swordsman, after Mannox.” Her eyes darkened just slightly. “The pig needed to know what his squealing got him. He should’ve known better than to gloat about something like that, so he paid for his pride.” Her eyes fell to her lap. “It was… the least I could do…”

The room was silent. No one really knew what to say in response to that. Anna relaxed ever so slightly and Anne managed to turn back to face them all. The silence weighed heavily around them until Cathy finally sighed and stood. 

“Kit,” she said carefully. “I know you’re not really up for hearing it, and it’s fine if you don’t accept it, but I really am so sorry for the way I treated you. I should’ve known better, but I took the easy way out. It wasn’t fair to you, to your pain, or to your past. I want you to know that I _am_ sorry, and I’ll do everything in my power to make up for my heartless mistake.”

Kit shrugged, leaning her chin on her knees. “’Sokay,” she mumbled. “Honest mistake-.”

“No.” Cathy’s brown eyes burned into hers. “It’s _not_ okay, and it _wasn’t_ an honest mistake. What I did was no better than the people who mistreated you in the past, the people who used and abandoned you just the same way they used and abandoned Anne.” Anne flinched. “I minimized your pain to push mine to the forefront and that wasn’t fair. And it’s not fair on you to do the same.”

She placed a hand on the bed, careful not to be too close to Kit right now. “I mean it, Kit. I’m going to be better from now on. I’m going to listen.”

A throat cleared and Anne held up her hand. She didn’t move closer because she didn’t want to crowd Kit, but she made sure she sounded serious. “I know this is a whole big emotional moment for Cath, but same. I made a promise, Kit. And I broke it. And cause’a that, you felt like you didn’t have anybody. So, I’m gonna reaffirm that damn promise. I _won’t_ push you away anymore, cuz. You deserve so much better and as your big cousin, I’m supposed to be there for you and listen to you. As your big cousin, I’m gonna start doing my _fuckin’ job_. If you need me? I will fuckin’ _be there._ ” 

She scuffed her shoe against the carpet. “I shouldn’t’ve pushed you away that first day. I _won’t_ leave you to fend for yourself anymore.” She motioned to her neck, tapping the scar that had bonded her to her cousin. “Gotta stick together.”

Kit gave a small smile. She hadn’t heard that in a long while, but she remembered it all the same. Reaching up, she tapped her own scar. “Or we might lose our heads.”

It was their thing, the first thing she’d ever shared with Anne, long before either of them knew why they had these scars. It was the same thing Anne had said to her after saving her those years ago. It was… a reaffirmation of trust. Sure, it would be tentative, but it was something.

Jane cleared her throat and stood. “I think… we should give Kit more time to rest,” she said slowly. Her voice was quiet because Edward had fallen asleep, but no less sincere. “She needs time to recover from telling her story.” She glanced down at Kit with a small smile. “I’ll bring some dinner by for you later, if you want?”

Kit understood that. Jane wasn’t sure where they stood. To be fair, Kit wasn’t sure either. But she was tired of pushing others away and being pushed away. These people, these _queens_ were the closest thing she’d ever gotten to a family. The bridges had been a little roughed up, but they could be fixed. 

“Yeah, that’d be… nice.”

Jane gave her a smile and disappeared out the door. Cathy stood with Lina and both promised to be by to check on her later. Anne shifted for a moment before stepping toward the door. She gave her baby cousin a two-fingered salute before heading out. 

Anna looked down at Kit expectantly. “So, how do you feel?” she asked gently.

“Like… I need a hug. If you don’t mind?”

Anne grinned. “You know you never gotta ask, Schatzie,” she said. Leaning back on the bed, she opened her arms and Kit nuzzled into them. The warmth was very welcome after the tension of the last half hour. 

“Anna?”

“Yeah, Kat?”

“It’ll take a little time, but… I think I’m gonna be okay.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that the real truth has come to light, the other five queens try to make up for their behavior. Kit has accepted their apologies and she’s almost back to where she had been with most of the queens. Unfortunately, not with Cathy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo. I know it’s been a while since I posted anything for this one, but thank you to everyone for being patient. I originally intended for this chapter to be the epilogue, but it was too much to fit into a single chapter. So next chapter should be the end. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this. 
> 
> Warnings: Mild profanity. If there are any I missed, please let me know.

The next few days were spent watching Kit closely. Lina monitored her eating habits so that she could recover from the blood loss. Jane kept an eye on her health to make sure she wouldn’t come down sick for being out in the cold so long. Anna kept her company throughout the day so that she wasn’t alone. Anne kept her company at night to help stave off the nightmares.

Kit, for her part, stayed away from anything sharp without permission. Cathy had slipped the switchblade to Anna after Kit had fallen asleep the first night. Cathy was probably the only Kit didn’t see consistently throughout the day. Cathy usually had a habit of staying in her room, but she almost seemed to become scarce after the whole ordeal.

A surprisingly warm day presented itself a week or two after everyone apologized, and the queens decided to head out to enjoy it. Jane kept Edward wrapped in his blanket as she strode along. She talked with Lina about the latest project she’d started at the After School Center.

“The kids are really loving the free-painting exercises,” she explained. “I think it feels more liberating than always having to paint a specific picture or color inside the lines.”

“It’s a good way to help build creativity,” Lina agreed. “Instead of being told what’s right or wrong, they can express from their hearts.”

“You sound like a philosopher,” Anne chuckled, bumping Lina’s shoulder. “Or, like, a sociologist.”

Lina rolled her eyes goodnaturedly. “I just have a way with words, unlike a certain household terror.”

Anne gave an offended gasp. “Lina! It’s not nice to talk about Anna that way!”

“Hey!” Anna shouted from in front of her. “I heard that you little gremlin!”

“Who are you callin’ ‘little’?!” Anne shot back. “I’m as tall as you are!”

“In _heels_ maybe!” Anna snickered.

Jane shook her head as the two bantered back and forth. She readjusted the bundle in her arms and glanced back. None of them were willing to admit it, but they were a little worried about coming out today. Not because of the cool air. It was starting to get warm, even if slowly. They just weren’t entirely sure where they all stood with Kit. She’d let them monitor her for the past week or so, but that didn’t mean much in way of forgiveness. Jane just didn’t want Kit to think they were pressuring her into being alright around them again.

Kit and Cathy trailed at the back of the group. Lina had all but dragged Cathy from her room to join the family outing, and Kit was happy to have some fresh air after being cooped up in the house. Neither were really at their best at the moment, though. Kit’s sleeping patterns had turned sporadic thanks to her nightmares, though Anne was doing her best to help with that. Cathy had the most bizarre sleep patterns in the house, capable of sleeping entire days away one second, and not being able to get even a wink the next.

The two of them remained silent as they walked side-by-side. It wasn’t that they had nothing to talk about. Cathy just didn’t think she deserved to hold a conversation with Kit after the way she’d acted. That might sound pretty dramatic, but she yelled at Kit for something that wasn’t even really Kit’s fault. Personally, Cathy found that pretty unforgivable. For all she knew, Kit hated her guts. So instead, she walked in silence.

Kit surveyed the yellow-white sky, the sunlight peeking through the light clouds covering the blue expanse above them. It felt warm, which was nice. Warm sunlight mixing with the cool breeze was soothing. She couldn’t wait for her Leave of Absence from school to be up so she had a reason to walk back and forth.

A group stepped out onto the sidewalk in front of the group. Most of the queens paid them no mind, moving off to the side to continue their conversations (or giving Anne a noogie for Anna). Kit spotted a few men in the group and felt the hairs on her neck lift slightly. Her eyes stayed glued to the group as they came closer. However, she was surprised when the warmth beside her disappeared to reappear on her other side. Glancing over, Kit found Cathy now standing on her other side, separating her from the passing group. Cathy kept her eyes on the sidewalk, but Kit could feel the tension coming off her.

Right. They were… still on the outs with each other. Kit knew Cathy had meant her apology. She just… needed time to figure out her feelings on the matter. Cathy was her best friend, apart from Anne and Anna; Kit wanted to return to that, to the late night talks and analyzing books and… _being friends_. She just didn’t know how.

“Ooh!” Jane said excitedly. She pointed to a nearby café. “Anyone want to stop in for a treat? I would love a scone.”

“Same!” Anna and Anne chorused.

Anne paused in trying to climb Anna’s back and hummed. “Could go for a smoothie. Maybe a few dozen cookies.”

Lina shook her head. “I don’t even know why we bother cooking dinner for you. I swear you run on sugar and caffeine.”

“Nope!” Anne chirped, opening the door and leading the group into the café. “Just sugar. Cath’s got the caffeine bit covered.”

The others laughed at that and Cathy cracked a smile. Well, at least she could count on the others to make jokes at her expense. Still, her eyes strayed to Kit for a moment. Hurrying to catch the door, Cathy motioned for Kit to go in before her.

Kit didn’t like this. She appreciated the gesture, obviously. Chivalry couldn’t be too dead if people were still holding doors for others. She just didn’t want Cathy to feel _obligated_ to do it. She wanted… she wanted the friendship they had before.

Anne looked back to see a troubled expression on Kit’s face. Her eyebrows were pulled together in that way they both got when they were trying to solve a difficult puzzle. Well, Anne had promised to be there for Kit from now on, and that included for troubling stuff, too.

“Hey, just grab me a chocolate milkshake and two dozen choco chip cookies,” she told Anna. “Get Kit a mint chocolate chip one and three dozen snickerdoodles. Any less and she’ll have our heads.”

Anna nodded and stepped into line. Meanwhile, Anne slipped to her cousin’s side and slung an arm around her shoulders. “Yo, Kitkat,” she said in a purposefully light voice. “Mind finding somewhere to sit with me? Don’t want Jane trying to chomp a treat _and_ balance Eddie.”

“Yeah, true.”

Kit followed Anne to one of the booths that would be able to hold all of them. As they slid in, Anne sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “So, what’s up?” she asked.

“Hm?” Kit stared at the assortment of sugar supplements on the end of the table.

“Kit, you’re thinking hard about something,” Anne told her softly. “If it’s something I can help with, you know I will.”

Silence descended between them for a moment before Kit shrugged. “I just… I know you all are sorry…”

Anne forced herself not to cringe at the reminder of her behavior. She didn’t have time to feel ashamed. She had to be here for her baby cousin. So she asked, “Something happen to make you… upset?”

“Not really,” Kit said quickly. She took a deep breath and played with the end of her ponytail. “I just… want to go back to how we all used to be? Before I got my memories and messed everything up.”

“You did _not_ mess everything up,” Anne told her sternly. “ _We_ did. You did nothing wrong.”

“Cool, yeah, sure.” Kit folded her arms on the table and dropped her head. “I just want Cat to know I don’t… hate her? I’m still hurt by what everyone did, but we can’t move past it if we don’t… _talk_ about it.”

Anne leaned back in her seat. “Yeah, that _is_ a dilemma…” She ran a hand over her scar, hidden by a choker today. “Maybe it’s just gotta be the two of you? Alone?”

“Like she’d let herself be alone with me now,” Kit snorted. “The last two times she was alone with me, she got mad at me and then had to nurse me back to warmth. She probably doesn’t trust herself.”

Anne snorted, a slow grin spreading over her lips. Kit immediately straightened up, spotting a familiar mischievous gleam in her cousin’s eyes. “Well, if she’s not gonna _let_ herself be alone with you, then we’ll just make sure she doesn’t think the two of you are alone.”

“You’re not locking us in a room together,” Kit stated seriously. “That will not work.”

“Nah, nothing that complicated,” Anne said with a wave. “But you’re right. The two of you can’t move past this if you don’t talk to each other. Communication is key and we failed at it the first time. We won’t make the same mistake twice.” Reaching over, she ruffled Kit’s ponytail. “Don’t worry, we’ll figure this out. In the meantime, let’s go see what’s taking our order so long.”

“There _are_ six of us, not counting Little Ed,” Kit pointed out, standing with Anne. “They’re probably having trouble keep up with you and Anna’s appetites.”

“She _says_ as the one who ate the entire cookie jar in a single night,” Anne snickered, laughing harder when Kit pushed her shoulder indignantly.

“I skipped dinner.”

“Sure.”

The banter was nice. Anne had been scared she’d completely ruined their relationship after what she said. But this was good. It meant… it meant they weren’t as broken as she had been afraid of. Strolling back to the counter, Anne’s mind worked quickly to figure out a way to help Kit and Cathy sort their differences. The latter three queens were too similar to the former three. They were interconnected with each other, and Anne wouldn’t let that bond just break and fade away.

 _“As your big cousin, I’m gonna start doing my **fuckin’ job**. If you need me? I will fuckin’ **be there.** ”_ She’d meant every word. She’d keep that promise this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go. Again, sorry for the wait. I won’t take so long with the last chapter hopefully. Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kit is on the mend, but the Castle household isn’t fixed just yet. Anne and Anna seek help from their wise leader to figure out how to fix this last broken piece.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nicknames: Kit - Howard, Cathy - Parr, Lina - Aragon, Cat - Parr

Anne looked down the hall to make sure no one else was listening before knocking at Anna’s door. There was silence for a moment before the door opened and Anna inclined her head expectantly. “Hey,” Anne said in a low voice. “Can I come in?”

“Sure.” Anna retreated back into her room and settled on her bed as Anne shut the door behind them. “What’s up?”

“I need a favor,” Anne explained, leaning against the dresser.

“If it has to do with chore duty, I-.” Anna stopped when Anne raised a hand.

“No, not for chores. It’s about Kit and Cat.” 

Anna sat up straighter at that. It was no secret that there was still a lot of tension between the two youngest of the household. While Kit was gradually returning to her upbeat self, Cathy had closed herself off more than usual. She barely even let even Lina see her now. She needed to be wrestled out of her room for group activities, and some days, she couldn’t be found at all, room or otherwise. Anna was glad that things were returning to normal, but she was beginning to worry. Again.

“What do you need?”

Anne ran a hand through her hair in exasperation. “That’s just it. I don’t know, not really. I want to get Cat to understand that she doesn’t need to be a shut-in to make things better, but Kit says Cat won’t be alone with her.”

“Then just have them be together and not alone,” Anna pointed out.

“The talk they gotta have needs to be something private, though,” Anne fired back. “It can’t just be something in the open. It has to be just the two of them.”

Silence hung after her words. Neither were really sure how to go about fixing that last piece of their household. They knew Jane and Lina were trying to think of something too, but no matter where they looked, all of them came up empty.

As they pondered what to do, Anne heard footsteps descending the stairs. She listened for a few moments as the footsteps paused at the front door. Carefully peeking out, she was just in time to spot a head of curls and a blue coat disappear out the door.

Eyes narrowed, Anne motioned for Anna to follow her and darted for the front door. They wasted no time in slipping into their boots and coats before heading out after Cathy. They didn’t want to spy so much as maybe get an opportunity to talk to her about all of this. If they could understand what she was going through individually, they might be able to help her heal alongside the rest of the house. It was worth a shot.

As they walked, Anne wondered how they were going to talk things over with Cathy when they caught up with her. Considering Lina had partially raised her, Cathy tended to be stubborn when she wanted to be. Anne knew that she felt especially bad for blaming Kit for Henry turning his attention to her, but avoiding them all wouldn’t make her feel any better. They needed to _talk_ to each other, otherwise they’d just keep going around in circles until the house imploded.

Anna glanced around and lightly bumped Anne’s shoulder. “Isn’t this around the theatre?”

Anne’s eyebrows pulled together as she recognized a few landmarks and she checked her watch in confusion. “Why’s she here? The next show isn’t for another few hours…”

Why would Cathy be coming this way? Anne couldn’t remember seeing her at the theatre without the rest of the queens with her. Not to mention there wasn’t anything scheduled right now, so why…

Cathy’s gait didn’t slow as they neared the theatre. She strolled right passed it without a glance, making the women tailing her even more confused. If she wasn’t going to the theatre, then why was she in this area? Anna picked up her pace, intent on being closer just in case Cathy found herself in trouble. Anne continued at her regular pace to take in as much as she could about their surroundings. This could be just a regular walk, but even then, they needed to make sure none of them ended up lost.

The worry didn’t seem to be necessary though, since Cathy began slowing not far from the theatre house. Anna dropped back beside Anne as Cathy turned into a building with various posters in the windows. Most of them advertised music lessons or performances, with a few stray ads from some of the establishments along the street. Stepping back, Anna blinked when she realized where they were.

“It’s that music place Jane’s always talkin’ about,” she murmured as Anne reached for the door. “That at least explains how she’s able to be MIA for who knows how many hours…”

The inside wasn’t anything special, just a regular reception area. Off to the side, they spotted Cathy’s jacket disappearing into the hall marked ‘Strings’. Anna nodded for Anne to follow Cathy. If they were going to get to the bottom of this, they couldn’t lose her now.

Anne slipped through the hall and caught Cathy disappearing into a door further down. The sign above read ‘Piano’. Of course Cathy would go into that one. She’d been playing piano since she was eight. Biting her lip, Anne shifted from one foot to the other as she debated on going inside. On the one hand, this would be a perfect chance to ask Cat what was up and maybe finally get to the bottom of things. On the other hand, though, it was clear Cathy wasn’t interested in being around the rest of them right now and just wanted to be alone.

Taking a deep breath, Anne stepped toward the door and peeked into the window. Inside, Cathy was sitting at the piano, her fingers moving across the keys as her body swayed to the music. Anne could only make out a faint sound, but she knew this was something she couldn’t barge in on. With one last glance to make sure her friend was alright, Anne made her way back out to the main area.

Anna glanced up from her phone when she heard approaching footsteps and pushed off from the wall. She cast a quick look down the hall Anne had just been down before asking, “Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Anne replied, leading the way out the door. “She’s just playing.”

Anna made a noncommittal hum in response and they headed for home. The walk was silent, neither of them having anything to say and not knowing what it would be even if they did. The trip back was much faster and they were hanging their jackets before they’d even been gone a full hour.

“Where did you two get off to?” Lina asked, peeking out of the living room.

“Tailing Cathy,” Anna told her as she flopped down on the couch.

“Tailing?” Lina reached beside her chair to rock Edward’s seat before looking at Anne for an explanation.

Anne pressed a hand to her face as she explained, “We saw Cat leaving and thought we might be able to talk to her, maybe get her to tell us what’s up, but decided it probably was just better to leave her be.”

Lina digested the information in silence before saying, “Fix one problem and another pops up.”

“Pretty much,” Anna agreed.

“I don’t get it,” Anne muttered in exasperation. “We all apologized, we all listened to her story, we’re all watchin’ out for her. Why is Cat…” She waved her hand in a frustrated gesture. “…doing this?”

“She feels guilty,” Lina shrugged. “She was in the wrong and she doesn’t like it. This…” She made a gesture similar to Anne’s. “…is her dealing with it.”

Anne released a frustrated groan, dropping her head into her hands. “This is more complicated than it has any right to be.”

“Not all that complicated,” Anna grumbled, glaring up at the ceiling as if it had personally offended her. “Cathy screwed up, she feels bad, Kit wants to forgive her, but neither of them are close enough long enough for it to happen, and none of us know what to do about it. Simple and infuriating.”

“What was Cathy doing?” Lina asked, taking her eyes off Edward. Thankfully, the noise hadn’t disturbed him and he was snoozing peacefully through the conversation.

“Playing piano,” Anne replied. “We followed her to that music place near the theatre. She was in the middle of a song when we left.”

Lina blinked at her. “Playing piano…” Her eyes drifted around the room, almost as if she was looking for something, or like the missing piece would suddenly appear. “Was she taking lessons?”

Anne sat up, staring hard at the Lady of the House. Something was up in that brilliant mind. “No. She was alone in the room.” Her eyes narrowed. “What is it?”

“We might be able to use that to our advantage…” Lina murmured.

Anna sat up now, too. Lina’s voice had gotten a bit distant, but in that good way when she was solving a puzzle none of the rest of them could. Her eyes held an intense look as her mind worked at lightspeed. She was on to something. But what?

“What’re you thinking, Lina?” Anna asked quietly. “We wanna help.”

“It might take a day or two, but…” Lina closed her eyes for a few seconds before opening them again. “I think I finally have an idea how to fix this.”

The two schemers of the house shared a wide grin and sat up straighter. “We’re all ears!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for being patient everyone. It’s been a weird year, but the next chapter shouldn’t take nearly as long as this one did. See you in the new year!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After some casual observation, the other queens finally put into motion a plan to get Kit and Cathy in the same room together. However, whether they make up or not falls completely on them. It’s time for the Castle to return to normal. 
> 
> Or, more concisely, Kit and Cathy _finally_ have that talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kit – Howard, Cathy – Parr, Lina – Aragon, Cat – Parr, Cath – Parr, Kat – Howard
> 
> Decided to put my psych degree to a little use for this one.

“Annie are you sure this is a good idea?”

For the last three days, all of the queens minus Kit had taken shifts trailing Cathy to and from the Music House. Not for long, but just enough to make sure they had her routine down. As an added measure, Anna and Anne would stop by to be sure she wasn’t getting lessons from any of the teachers on-site either. 

After three days of ensuring that Cathy was doing the same thing each day, Lina brought together the four queens not directly involved in this last broken piece. Anna and Anne had offered to stall Cathy on her way so that Kit could catch up, but that gave too much opportunity for Cathy to disappear once they were all out of earshot. Jane suggested guiding her to a café, but that didn’t guarantee either of them would be able to talk since there was no telling who would come in and how intense the discussion might become. 

For this to work, Kit needed to talk to Cathy alone, in a secluded area, when Cathy was more relaxed and most likely to at least listen, if not talk herself.

“It’ll be fine, Kitkat,” Anne told her gently, gesturing to the door. “Anna and I will be right out here in case either of you need anything.”

Kit fiddled with her sweater sleeve as she glanced at the room. “It’s pretty clear she doesn’t wanna talk to me, though. What if this makes things worse?”

“I don’t think it can _get_ any worse,” Anna pointed out. “She’s downright avoiding you, Kat. Trying to talk to her can’t hurt things anymore than that.”

Brown eyes dropped to the ground and Anne reached out. “Kit, we have to do _something._ If this doesn’t work, then we’ll figure out something else, but the two of you have been _so close_ in this life. You can’t lose that. Both of you deserve so much better.”

“Okay.” Kit looked at the door and took a deep breath. “Promise you’ll be here?”

“We’re not going anywhere,” Anna promised, holding up a girl scout salute.

Kit nodded and, with one more fortifying breath, she slipped into the room. As soon as the door closed, Anna brought out her throwing knives and handed Anne a crossbow. No one was getting out of that room until conversation had been exchanged. Anne knew Kit had said no locking them in a room together, but desperate times and desperate measures. Besides, she should’ve known Anne would never agree to that.

The sound of the piano filled the area, louder than it had been outside the door. Kit recognized this piece. It was one of the first Cathy had ever played for her when they were younger. When things were simpler.

Carefully, Kit reached into her pack and pulled out her flute. She had been intending to save this for if she couldn’t find the words to express herself, but she remembered playing along to this one. Lifting the instrument to her lips, she joined in, letting the melody meld into Cathy’s.

Fingers paused on the keys as brown eyes widened in shock. That was a woodwind instrument. What was a woodwind doing in the strings department? Turning, Cathy found a familiar sight before her, Kit lost in the melody of the music. It sent Cathy back five hundred years, to those nights she would listen to Her Majesty Howard play when the King had retired to bed.

The last note held before Kit let it fade into the silence, her eyes opening to meet Cathy’s. “Hey, Cath,” she said quietly.

“Kit, I- What are you… doing here?” Cathy hadn’t thought any of the others knew where she got off to, least of all, Kit.

“Came to talk,” Kit shrugged, slipping the flute back into her pack.

“To me?” The one question held so much.

“To you.” Kit held Cathy’s gaze, waiting for her to make a move.

Cathy’s entire mind spun trying to find a way to _not_ have this talk. She didn’t like running, but she also didn’t like what she’d done. Glancing to the door, she wondered just how fast she could move before Kit followed.

“I wouldn’t… try that.” Cathy glanced to her companion and Kit shrugged again, wiping her hands on her jeans. “Annie and Anna are out there, most likely with weapons. They won’t let either of us leave.”

“Great.” Alright, so that plan was out. But that meant she was stuck in here with Kit to talk about-.

“I’m sorry.”

Cathy’s head snapped up in shock, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “ _You’re_ sorry? For what?” She hated how that one sentence made her wince, recalling the last time Kit had said it.

“Mostly stuff that was out of my control in the first place,” Kit sighed, crossing her legs and sinking to the floor. “I was a low-born Howard, so it’s not like I could really _do_ anything to stop Henry, uh, Mannox. Mom died when I was, like, five, so it’s not like she could protect me. Dad was trying to make his way just like the rest of the clan. If I hadn’t been… _normalized_ to that kind of treatment, I might’ve been able to realize that what Francis, erm, Dereham was doing wasn’t right, either.”

She ran a hand through her hair, looking off to the side. “I guess I’m just really sorry I didn’t tell Henry I had a marriage contract with Dereham. We didn’t, but if I’d lied, things might’ve been… better? I could’ve been divorced without all of the drama. Yeah, Dereham would’ve taken me away and I doubt I would’ve been able to see you or Anna again, but I would’ve lived. I wouldn’t have ruined the family legacy for all of history.”

Kit’s tired gaze lifted to meet Cathy’s eyes and she shrugged for a third time. “But… by then it would’ve been too late. He already knew who you were and would’ve zeroed in on you regardless. And… I was so tired of lying. I loved being queen, Cath. The power it afforded me, to finally treat the people I loved like I’d always wanted. I could give gifts to people, I could elevate my friends in status, I could enchant entire rooms with my music and bring a smile to people’s faces. I didn’t do anything historically prevalent, but I could still make the smallest difference _at the time._

“I didn’t want to go into death a liar. Lying by omission was one thing, but to outright lie to save my own skin? To give up a position that had allowed me to _save_ people from beheadings or give those with less just a bit more? I couldn’t do it, Cat. That was my family. My step-grandmother, my father, Uncle Thomas, all of _them_ would have said and did anything to save their own necks, including betray me and send me right to the wolves, but I couldn’t let that be me, too. And I… it cost you. So I’m so-.”

“No.”

Cathy slipped from the piano bench, a hand rubbing down her face as she crossed her legs in front of Kit. “We’re not _doing_ this again,” she stated. “You’re not taking blame for something like this. It was just as much my fault as yours, Kit. Thomas and I hadn’t gotten married, which left me available. I chose to come to court as often as I did and even if I hadn’t, I wasn’t exactly keeping my voice low. Henry was bound to find me no matter what you did.”

She took a deep breath. “I just… I was hurt. I was hurt when you were convicted, I was hurt when he created a law just to kill you and I was hurt when I watched your head roll off the block.” Kit flinched slightly and Cathy nodded. “I was hurting and I just wanted somebody to blame and instead of Henry or Dereham or Culpeper… I blamed you. It wasn’t fair-.”

“But I lied,” Kit pointed out.

“Because no one bothered to _ask_ ,” Cathy huffed. “That’s not your _fault_. And every time I think about it, I just get _angry_ because lying by omission is the _stupidest_ excuse to blame someone for anything! Sure, you didn’t say anything, but who’s fault is that? Yours for not freely offering the information or ours for just assuming it?” Kit shook her head and Cathy gave a soft breath. “I could bring up any number of things that would ‘mean’ it was your fault, but they would just as easily be mine or Henry’s or Dereham’s. You really have nothing to apologize for, Kit. Not to those men, not to that country, not to history, and not to me.”

A shuddering breath passed through Cathy’s lips as she finished, “I’m just… I’m sorry it took so long for me to tell you that… and to apologize.”

Silence filled the air around them. Both had gotten out what they’d wanted to, but neither knew how to progress beyond this point now. Everything had been shaky since the day Kit had stormed into the cold, but now it felt like they were on the last piece. They were steps away from falling into the abyss of what had broken beneath them.

“What do we do now?” Kit asked after a while.

“I don’t really know,” Cathy responded.

“Are you… going to keep avoiding me?”

Cathy ran a hand through her hair and shrugged. “I still feel pretty bad about… what I said.”

“How do you think I feel?” Kit huffed, though there wasn’t really all that much malice in her tone. “You’ve been one of my best friends in this life since the first time Annie asked you to babysit me. And now you can barely even look in my direction, like I’m a plague rat.”

“You’re not a plague rat-!” Cathy spoke up, but Kit cut her off.

“Then _look_ at me, Cat!”

Cathy’s eyes snapped up at the challenge, glaring into Kit’s eyes, only to drop a second later. “I don’t know how to _fix_ it,” she growled, low and afraid. “Ever since that first night when your usual babysitter canceled, I’ve always known how to make things better. Mister Bean Bear, Monsieur Chat Rose, hot cocoa, bedtime stories, cheesy movies, telling off stupid guys at school, helping you train for sports tryouts, keeping you company when Anne has to rush out, helping you study for college entrance exams. I’ve _always_ known how to make things better for you, but it’s never been my _fault_ before.” In a voice low enough for Kit to miss if she hadn’t been right in front of her, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Then let me help _you_ for once,” Kit whispered, leaning down to properly catch her friend’s eye. “This isn’t the kind of thing you can just do on your own, Cat. It’s getting neither of us anywhere and I… I _miss_ you. I’m still dealing with what happened, but I _miss_ where we used to be. I can’t get back there without you.”

“I don’t want to-.” Cathy took a deep breath and finally lifted her head. “What if I screw it up again?”

“Annie says I have full right to deck you if this happens again without some sort of alien amnesia gun being involved,” Kit responded, to which Cathy snorted slightly. But a laugh of any kind was progress.

“Fair,” she agreed. Lifting her hand, Cathy held it out to Kit. “We can… try? To get back to where we were?”

Instead of taking her hand, Kit slid the back of her own against Cathy’s, hooking her pinky with Cathy’s thumb just like they used to. Just like when she replied to Anne tapping her scar, it was a reaffirmation of trust. They weren’t completely fixed, but they wouldn’t stay broken anymore either.

Cathy grinned, blinking back tears as she hooked her pinkie with Kit’s thumb. It was their promise. That things can get better, _will_ get better.

From outside, Anna watched Kit lean forward and Cathy wrap her in a hug. They weren’t completely back, evident in the tense way Cath hugged Kat, but it was progress. She slipped her knives back into her bag and accepted Anne’s crossbow. “You gonna stay?” she asked quietly as Anne’s fingers worked quickly at the buttons on her DS.

“I made a promise,” Anne chuckled, continuing to beat a Jaggia to a pulp without looking up. “I’ll make sure everything stays civil. You go ahead back. Eddie’s probably been missing you the last few days.”

Anna snorted and cast one more glance inside. Kit leaned against the piano as Cathy played, a piece that was notably more upbeat than the one she’d been playing before Kit entered. Yeah, they’d be okay.

Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go! Even better, the epilogue (for real this time, I promise) is nearly finished, too! This has probably been one of my favorite fic journeys so far and I’m so thankful for the anon that let me get this out. It turned out so much better than I could’ve hoped when I first wrote the third chapter all those months ago. See you all for the end next time!


End file.
